


The first time Armando Salazar got his best friend drunk OR Guillermo Lesaro is not a good drinking buddy

by ElizabethPacifica



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Character Development, Drinking, Language, Read as Script, Short One Shot, Study in Dialog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 22:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20235268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethPacifica/pseuds/ElizabethPacifica
Summary: This is becoming a collection I never intended. Read as script, study in dialog.Summary: In the City of Cádiz, a lot can happen in the evening under the cover of darkness. Two young students from the Naval Academy discover their Commanding Officer’s secret stash of contraband rum.*WARNING* Language





	The first time Armando Salazar got his best friend drunk OR Guillermo Lesaro is not a good drinking buddy

Somewhere in the private offices of the Commander at the citadel, the full moon reflects off several glass bottles sitting on desk, and 2 men are sitting on the floor.

GL: Put the bottle down Armando.

AS: Ha. Ha, ha! What do pirates see in this vile drink?

AS: (suddenly he gets up) Come on Gui! En Garde! You cannot best ME!

GL: Armando, I am not going to fight you.

AS: You will!

GL: You’re drunk. (not getting up, but still able to slash sword away with his own.)

AS: Not yet.

GL: Come on Armando. We should leave. If Officer..

AS: Try it. He will never find out it was us.

GL: No.

AS: Yes Gui try it. (Pulls his sword out again and sits down.) Try it. I cannot be the only one with this taste on my lips.

(He does, spits it out.)

AS: I had a thought.

GL: No.

AS: You haven’t even heard it yet.

GL: If it’s anything like last time, I am not going to *that* place again.

AS: Drunk you goes.

GL: No, drunk me…I’m not drunk!

AS: I dare you.

GL: To what?

AS: We will finish this bottle before the end of the night.

GL: That’s not a dare. (whispers) How do I get myself into these situations? I keep saying no but somehow this means yes?

***

The 2 men leave and end up on the streets of Cádiz, having taken full bottles with them.

GL: (takes a deep breath) Verdad. I am too sober for this.

AS: There you go. I told you. Now drink with me.

Each bottle is 1/3 empty

Enter a crowded restaurant. The men find a table by the door. Music in the background. After two more shots, another man is pushed into Salazar’s lap.

AS: (slams bottle on the table, stands up and pulls sword on him) Look hombre, you have a choice. Either have a good time…or be killed.

GL: (rolls eyes) Gentlemen. I’m sure there is a way to settle this.

AS: Yes. At the end of a sword.

Bar Owner: Is there a problem gentlemen? Keep it down or I will have you both arrested.

GL: We are leaving. Now. (grabs AS by the shoulder and pushes him out the door but not before he locks eyes with a woman. He attempts to bow but only runs into S who is stumbling over his own boots getting out the door.)

GL: On second thought, maybe we should stay a little longer.

AS: (laughs) Now you are making sense! Let’s go find that man!

GL: No, we will sit politely or not at all.

AS: Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?

GL: Armando. Remember, the uniform? Blood does not come out of it easily yes?

AS: Oh yes. Good point.

(They are not allowed entrance. The owner has directed a solider to keep them out)

AS: Out of my way!

GL: (points out the ranking officer and pushes AS away before they are recognized. They cross the busy street – it is a very hot summer evening so everyone is out – and the sit on the marble steps.)

Another drink, a man passes by them, knocking over GL’s bottle. It spills, mostly gone.

GL: Yeah well, fuck you!

AS: (almost chokes on drink) Guillermo Lesaro!

GL: What? That son of a bitch spilled my rum.

AS: Let’s go for a walk. (They stand, holding each other up while sauntering out of town and down to beach, singing)

GL: Sigh. Did you see her eyes? And her walk? She was like the crest of the waves, the roses in morning dew. Those lips.

AS: You are making no sense Gui. I saw nothing like that.

GL: Of course you didn’t. You wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like that.

AS: As if you would? (draws his sword and swings it around to point at GL’s arm)

GL: I think I could figure it out! Would you put that thing away already?

AS: (sheaths sword) You’re right Gui. (Gazing into the distance) You would be like a waiting lion, circling around its prey until…

GL: (raises eyebrow) That’s…oddly specific.

AS: Am I wrong? I am never wrong. So, am I wrong? You would pounce, no? Poor _Señorita_.

(At the beach, the sound of the city behind them, the waves in front of them. They sit down to finish what is left of the rum.)

AS: (looking at the sky) You know, I think it was stupid to name the constellations after gods. They should have been named after plants or something.

GL: Hum?

AS: Are you even listening?

GL: Of course I am. Something about God and His Heavens. Damn sand is uncomfortable.

AS: It is the most beautiful thing. I will love being out on the sea at night. (takes sip but the bottle is empty) Damn pirates! Fucking pirates! I will run my sword through all of them. You and me, Lesaro. We will ruin all of them – wipe them off the face of the earth. Yes, together we will rule the seas. Gui?

GL: (falls on his back on the sand and starts snoring)

AS: Oh Guillermo, you cannot handle your liquor can you?

(AS carries GL home over his shoulder.)


End file.
